Why Ponies Are Manly

Recently, the internet has been swept up in a rainbow-coloured shitstorm known as "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", the fourth generation in the world's girliest toy franchise. In all the sonic rainbooms, hydra chases, and cockatrice staring contests, a startling fact has come to light. One that, previously, even those who now worship the new petite equines could not have predicted before the series aired, and that hordes of people still refute and argue against. But the evidence is clear.

Watching "My Little Pony" is manly.

And here's why...


Manly People Watch It

I know what you're thinking. What sort of man would even consider watching this show? Well, as it turns out, plenty of very masculine people are very comfortable watching a show that is marketed towards little girls. For example, there have been plenty of people in the goddamn army who watch it.

Yes, you read right.

THE ARMY.

People like this guy:

He can charge into battle knowing that no one would dare upset Fluttershy.

Now, no one's going to argue that the army isn't made up of real men - even the women who join have more balls that plenty of guys in today's society.

So no matter what you say, you cannot seriously suggest that everyone who watches this show is lacking where it matters, and if you do, you may find some marines at your door wanting to kick you parasprite ass into the floor and banish you to the moon.All they want to do is make cupcakes with you.

It is Rebellion

Our society, regardless of how tolerant it seems, is still stuck in it's ideas of masculinity and femininity, particularly in how those two traits relate to sexuality. Do anything, and I mean, ANYTHING feminine, and in certain crowds, you're going to have "Lord Gayder" slapped on your head for the rest of your life.

This is the next step in the war on terror and anti-pony hate.

Just by watching "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", and just watching it, (enjoying it is optional at this point), you're rejecting the ideals of society, and taking a stand.

No, advertising company! You will NOT tell me what is or isn't enjoyable by my gender! No, media outlet, you will NOT convince me that only man-children can enjoy a show! And no, society, you will NOT stop me enjoying quality entertainment based on your outdated ideas of male and female tastes!


It Proves Your Manliness

Let's face it, you have to have a certain amount of balls to watch this show, and to keep watching once you've started. If you're not totally secure in your masculinity or sexuality, then watching will make you constantly question whether liking this makes you gay, or if you're any less of a man for not just putting up with, but enjoying something that is supposed to sell little toys to young girls.

However, if you can watch this show, and not worry at all about your masculinity, fully comfortable as a straight (or gay - let's face it, your sexuality doesn't make you less of a man) bloke watching a show full of pink and adorableness, then you must have balls. There has to be enough testosterone in your system to keep you from being knocked from your manly throne (no, not the toilet, unless you're one of those guys who takes their laptops with them) in order for you to handle this show.

He clearly has enough balls to survive that amount of pink.

So clearly, any dude over the age of 15 who watches and enjoys "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" must be on a level of security in themselves that even autonomous online hacking groups out to cause trouble would have trouble cracking.


It's an Awesome Show

This is the final point, but certainly the most important. It is a watchable, and often genuinely entertaining program. It'd have to be! There's no point watching a shit series for little girls with nothing for older audiences to appreciate just to prove your manliness. Heck, watching a bad show just for the sake of it probably does more to damage your masculinity and prove your insecurity than going shoe shopping for two hours, buying over-expensive and uncomfortable shoes, and enjoying it.

The show's cast has characters that are relatable, the animation is fantastic - considering it was done in Flash, (Seriously, have you ever tried animating ANYTHING as good as MLP:FiM in Flash?) there are references that the target demographic just wouldn't understand (references to alcohol, date rape drugs and Benny Hill, to name a few), and although there is a moral in every episode, it's not forced on you (until the end), and is often cleverly written into the story.

Three cheers for Lauren Faust.

So, thank you, to everyone on the "Friendship is Magic" production team for creating a great show, and beginning to dispell 30 years of stereotyping and association with fairly mediocre toys. Thumbs up all round.